Ok, I’m about to stand on my soapbox, so you’ve been warned!
As a nurse and a cancer survivor, I have definitely had my fair share of experiences with the healthcare system.
I know what it’s like to feel like you’re supposed to trust the experts completely, to believe that they have your best interest at heart, and that they always know what’s best for you. But the reality is—that’s not always the case!
*side note-I am not bashing healthcare professionals, I understand they are overburdened- more on that later- this is just my story.
During my last head CT, I was in a good mood, cruising to Seattle, rocking out to 80’s music the whole way.
But once I got there, the dread just hit me.
I’ve had plenty of scans at this hospital (not Fred Hutch), and every time, the nurses…techs, I’m not sure what profession they are—they never listen when I tell them I have paper-thin veins.
*Contrast is injected into your veins at a high rate, and it’s thick, visceral. So when your veins are already fragile from chemotherapy, it’s almost a given that they’ll blow right through them.
I ALWAYS tell everyone who touches my veins that I have paper thin veins.
Unless they work specifically for the cancer hospital, they just don’t seem to hear me.
And, of course, this time was no different.
Long story short: my vein blew. I had so much contrast in my forearm that my skin was sagging, and it was painful!
Once again, I was traumatized.
To make matters worse, the radiologist told me I’d have to repeat the scan because—of course—they didn’t get all the images.
Why We Feel Like We’re Not Allowed to Question the Experts
So so often during my cancer journey, I felt a sense of urgency, desperation, and vulnerability that I just went along with treatment or the blood draw or whatever the case may be.
AND I just didn’t know! Even as a nurse, I’m not an oncology nurse. I just didn’t know.
There’s this silent expectation that we should trust our doctors completely and follow their advice without asking questions.
Over time, I realized that even though these professionals are experts in their field, I am the expert on my own body and experience.
Say that louder for everyone in the back!
I AM THE EXPERT OF MY OWN BODY!!!
As time went on, I felt like I was being railroaded into decisions that didn’t feel right for me.
I think this happens more often than we realize—whether it’s the result of a rushed appointment or the assumption that what works for one person will work for everyone.
Learning to Speak Up
The key for me has been to realize that speaking up doesn’t make me difficult—it makes me a partner in my own care.
Advocating for yourself is not about disregarding medical advice or thinking you know better; it’s about ensuring that your voice is heard and that your unique needs are respected.
After all, you’re the one living with the consequences of the decisions made!! It’s crucial that those decisions reflect your needs, not just someone else’s idea of what’s best.
Here’s how I’ve learned to speak up and advocate for myself:
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Trust Your Gut:
One of the most important things I’ve learned is to trust my instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, I don’t ignore it. Your intuition is powerful. It’s okay to ask questions, to say, “I’m not sure about this—can you explain why this is the best option?” When something feels off, it’s a signal that your body might be telling you something important. -
Ask for Clarification:
Often, we’re given information that’s confusing or overwhelming, and we just nod along because we don’t want to seem difficult. But you deserve to understand every part of your treatment plan. If there’s something you don’t get, ask. I’ve learned that asking questions doesn’t make me a nuisance; it makes me a well-informed patient who is involved in her own care. -
Take Ownership of Your Decisions:
No one knows you better than you know yourself. Don’t be afraid to take ownership of your healthcare decisions. If something doesn’t feel right, ask for alternatives or a second opinion. The treatment plan should work for you, not just for the system. And if it doesn’t, it’s okay to push for a change. -
Be Assertive, Not Aggressive:
It’s all about being assertive, not aggressive. Being clear, calm, and confident about what you need or don’t need goes a long way. I’ve learned that I can be firm without being rude, and it’s made all the difference in my interactions with providers. I’m not being difficult; I’m simply making sure that my voice is heard. -
Find Your Support Team:
Whether it’s a friend, family member, or another healthcare provider, having someone in your corner can make a huge difference. A support person can help you ask questions, advocate for your needs, and just be there to support you when you’re feeling overwhelmed. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Advocating for yourself is not a sign of being difficult—it’s a sign of being empowered!!! We all have the right to speak up for what we need, and we all deserve to be treated with respect and compassion in the process.
If something doesn’t feel right for you, don’t be afraid to question it. You are your own best advocate, and when you speak up, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re changing the way healthcare is delivered for everyone.
Remember, your voice matters. Trust it, speak up for what you need, and never let anyone make you feel like you’re being difficult for doing so.
Much love and purpose,
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